Checking in

I have found myself unusually busy of late. I actually got the job I wanted and my tenant is leaving which allows me to go home next week.

But, am I prepared for the loneliness of still having little money and no relationship? It’s at least four years since I last lived on my own….even then it wasn’t for that long.

I am still in contact with my ex and she keeps offering to help me move in. But I feel that in order to properly move on with my life there may be a point where I simply have to tell her that I cannot be in touch anymore. Its something I dread, the experience and the thought of not having her in my life in any capacity, but at the same time I feel that it is the only way I might move on without getting hurt. Is that selfish? Maybe. But I feel it may be necessary. Despite this I am not sure if I have the guts to do it. I wonder why it is so hard. I am 33 years old now, if kids of teenage years can do this why do I find it so hard to. I feel as if my emotions are crippling me and preventing me moving on.

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